**Lovin' You_**
无条件为你,无条件付出.我很爱你,你从不曾离开过我的脑海里,我的心里。
About.Me

Name :: Ru Yi
Gender :: Female
Age :: 20
D.O.B. :: 09081990
Location :: Singapore
Horoscope :: Leo
Zodiac :: Horse
Loves

+ Family & Friends
+ Music
+ Singing
+ Slacking
+ Chatting
+ Basketball
+ Swimming
+ Peace
+ Ah Lin*
Dislikes

- Cheats
- Arrogance
- Irresponsibility
Wishlist

* Excel in Study
* No Heart Break
* Lasting Friendships
* Learn music
Lovin' You, It's Not Easy Yet Irresistible_*



]

Closey_*

[+]
Benjamin
[+]Jeanette
[+]James
[+]Ryann

Buddies_*

[+]Lance
[+]Karen's shop
[+]Lydia
[+]Szehui
[+]Teresa
[+]Warren
[+]Xinyi
[+]Jannifer
[+]Jayne
[+]Ricky

The Closeys_*<


James
Jeanette
Ryann
Karen
Mabel
Sze Hui
Benjamin
Ah Lin*

Credits

Layout:
aNgeL_Of_MemOrY [ email ]
Blog: Blogger
Image Uploder: Imageshack
Search Engine: Google
For more Blogskins *



© Copyright Reserved 2008 by Renise_

Click here if you wish to close my blog.
_ Saturday, May 31, 2008 ;
I've found out that I am losing myself, my control over my emotions, the feeling of pain and friends. I don't mean to but I am just losing control in things that will affect me the most and the things that I once cherish and the things that I tell people to appreciate and cherish. I am losing my usual focus and calmness. What in the world had happen to me?? This is also not the Ruyi that I've know myself. There should be and I know the answer to this question but I don't want to admit or acknowledge it. I am starting to run away to avoid things that i have to. Why all things just happen in 1 year? I'm also a human who have blood and emotions. I hope to grow up but in a proper way, I don't want to be forced. All regrets and heartache happen in these 1 year of my life. My heart shattered into pieces, no one picks it up and I can't fix it too. Just leave it in a mess. Heart-dead. All closed up. Nothing goes in and nothing goes out.

Today I said and done something horrible to one of my good friends that always stood by me. It will be a loss to me as I know I may lose this good friend forever. What I've say cannot be taken back. Forgive me for saying all those to you. I'm very sorry! Give me time to change back to the girl that you all know. No matter how many days, months or years, I will still try. Sorry to all of u once again...

``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 10:50 PM .



_ Thursday, May 29, 2008 ;
Its been a lot times that I can't control my tears. Bleeding it's still bleeding and the pain just bring me down. Times and times I heard his name it will just strike my unheal wounds and prolong the healing of my heart. Whenever I thought it was over, it will start all over again. When can I get over him? This is the question that I always left unanswered. But I know that he won't know and it won't even matter to him. My heart is bleeding now but should it matter??


_Should It Matter- Sissel_


I look at you
Please don't walk away
I see you're about to
There is just something I'd really like to say
So please don't walk away

I know that you're there
Still you pretend you're not
Yes I know it hurts
I have also felt the pain

So should it matter
What I do or what I've done
As long as in my heart
You're still the only one
I hear you say it
But I don't think you understand
I can be trusted now, I swear to you I can

It's been a year
a memory from my past
I know what I did wrong
I wish to change
Just to make it last
But I guess it's been too long

Easy to move on
To forget to about it all
Is that what you do, hoping I will be gone

So should it matter
What I do or what I've done
As long as in my heart
You're still the only one
I hear you say it
But I don't think you understand
I can be trusted now, I swear to you I can

If you got to know me again
Maybe then -- maybe then
We could see what what we should do
But that's all up to you
I'll be waiting for you

So should it matter
What I do or what I've done
As long as in my heart
You're still the only one
I hear you say it
But I don't think you understand
I can be trusted now, I swear to you I can

I hear you say it
But I don't think you understand
I can be trusted now, I swear to you I can

``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 9:56 PM .



_ Monday, May 26, 2008 ;
I am so short of cash! I have to return money to my father, fixed my psp and return Sharon money!! Arghh!! When can I be debtless..

I just hope that my tuition money I could get it now. That auntie owe me like 300 hundred over bucks. If she return the whole thing to me by Friday I will owe no one money. Then after that i could buy the things that I want for so long. I need to buy a new bag because the one that i use previously can't be used anymore and I still need to buy a new wallet!! It's also cant be use anymore!! Coins in my wallet kept dropping out. Getting sick and tired of using it.


Well, I am kind of short of time. I need to rush out my report in 2 weeks time, I need to do 2 case study and a group report for my modules!! But I am still blogging here. Hahas!

I just finish one of my data report all thanks to Angeline. She was waken up by me just now just to help me with that question. Hahas. Her reaction was DAMN FUNNY! When I called her, she thought she was late for school and actually said to me,"I am going to school now, Ruyi!" And the time was like 10.20pm in the night?!? When she know that she gone 'malu', she laughed at her own created jokes and she doesn't allow me in laughing. I think I am going to tell Wai Sian tomorrow. I bet she will laugh til she drop dead! Hahas! Oops! I sound really cheeky and bad. But to me, 'GOOD THINGS' are meant to be shared! (:

``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 10:42 PM .



_ Thursday, May 22, 2008 ;

Getting worse! I've got to rush my report and case study during the 3 weeks break then got to study for MST. OH NO!! I still got to go Genting with my family. My 3 weeks holiday will be gone like this. What a waste!

Today i read a newspaper report(Wan Bao) about the earthquake in Szechuan(China). This article really gave me a shock. It really broke my heart when i saw this news. She is a really optimistic person with strong will of life and I am very impressed by her nobility.

Its about a lady who committed suicide so that the rescuers could give up on her and save the others that was also trapped in the building due to earthquake. This lady was in this building that collapse during the earthquake. Her whole lower part of her body was covered with heavy objects like fallen ceilings, bricks. She was also heavily covered by her blood. She was still alive and had a strong will to live on and survive. She was found by her niece and the rescuers.In the process of rescuers trying to get her out, if I am not wrong, it took them 4 days. Even though she was bleeding badly, her will of living was not shaken, even until the 4th day. She told her niece that she will not die, she will survive and live on. But she couldn't take the pain anymore, she told the rescuers that she was not important and the place is too dangerous for them to stay on to save her. She then requested the rescuers to give her up and move on to save the others that are trapped too. She slit her wrist, bear the pain, swallowed the golden ring that she wore on her fingers and died. She could hang on to the pain till that point was all because of her niece. When she know that her niece was save, she had nothing to worry about anymore. This was what the lady said to the rescuers before she committed suicide.

If she did not committed suicide, she still had the chance to survive and be save. But she chose not to and gave the chances to others to live on. I doubt not everyone can be like her. Give up her life for others that she don even know. Her nobility really touches me and make me think further.

I don't understand why one of the teenagers in China, take a video of herself scolding and insulting the people suffered in this issue just because of the game she playing was shut down by the government. In the end, she was caught by the police. The video was up on Youtube and was remove yesterday. A lot of people saw her video and was disgusted by her attitude and her inhumanity. Even though she regretted what she had said but it will still bring a strong impact on everyone about her.

People always don't cherish their loved ones around them until he/she loses them. Don't do something that will let you regret. Not everything in life can let things that are done to be redo. There won't be a time turner to turn back time for you to love them and treat them well again. Everyone, Please appreciate what your loved ones have done for you and treat them well. There may be quarrels or fights that hurt both of your feelings. But I believe that nothing in this world that can't be solved. Nothing is more important than these 3 things in life, kinship, friendship and love relations. They boost our boring work life or study life to motivate us to excel in everything we do. If u left out your love ones now, you will regret. It is still not late to cherish everyone around us now, DO IT NOW!!


``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 11:45 PM .



_ Tuesday, May 20, 2008 ;
OH MY GOD! In the end it was me that put my friends plane. Well they have to sing on their own. I am SO SORRY Jean and James. Didn't meant to break the promise. Sorry once again.

Today, Tuesday is always a tough day for me. No break from 8am to 5pm for usual Tuesday but today was a new record. 8am to 6pm no break or what so ever due to my GEMS quiz. And I think I may fail my quiz. The quiz was so damn difficult. Heard from Hui Yi, one of my poly friends said that the paper we took today is much more difficult then the previous semesters. I am getting sick of Tuesdays. But everytime after Tuesday will always be my heaven. All my Wednesday, Thursday and Friday lessons are always quite fun and always end quite early compared to Monday and Tuesday.

One of my lecturers brighten up my Tuesday lessons. There was a guy kept whistling during her lecturer when everyone was copying down the tutorial answers. The first time she heard she just kept quiet. The second time she heard, she look around to see who was the joker. The third time she shouted out loudly," Who is the KUKU bird that kept on whistling?!?" The whole theatre filled with laughter. Every male students in my class started looking down at their pants giggle and said,"Shut up lahx birdie! Don't whistle." The whole lecture theatre filled with laughter again.
Her lecture is always fun and entertaining. Its been so long that I never see such a lecturer. Going for her class is always a pleasure more than a drag. I've always enjoy her lesson.(:

Yesterday, Benjamin lose to me 5 times in a row. Hahas! I know I sounds like a baddie but he seldom win me with arguments. Woots!! Benjamin was TOTALLY FLATTEN by me yesterday. So happy!! I want to keep up the great job! Benjamin I am so sorry BUT I will still try to flatten you more. So in the meanwhile wait please be patience and wait!! Hahas! ((:

``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 9:53 PM .



_ Saturday, May 17, 2008 ;
Woots!! Today I went to Party World with Alex, Ricky, Jia Wei, Bi Fei and 3 of Bi Fei's friends. It turned out that Alex and I one room. I almost gone CRAZZY with him. He was so damn high!! i almost gone mad staying in one room with him. He went out of tune til i almost fainted due to laughter. Ricky came with a very "CUTE" sunglasses. He said he looks like panda eyes due to lack of sleep. So he borrowed his sister's sunglasses to cover his panda. I think everyone gone laugh out loud when they see Ricky with the sunglasses. =P Oopps! I sound so bad. Hahas! I heard Jia Wei sings today! First time. He sang not bad but too soft. If he dare to sing i will be his supporters. Jia Wei I SUPPORT YOU!! Hahas.

After that I went to my poly friend's house to do my CPPB practical report. Jayne cooks for Royston, Jannifer and me!! DELICIOUS!! PASTA PASTA!! If i continue to go Jayne's house, I will grow FATTER! Jayne also treat us feed us with ice-cream! Roy and Jan eat durian ice-creams. I HATE durians. Weird smell, Weird taste, Weird texture. It is weird. Just don't understand why people like to eat them. I will throw up everytime i smell durian. My nose especially damn sensitive with it. I am always the first one to smell the fruit. Sadded.

Tomorrow I am going to Party World again with Jeanette they all. Hope they won't put me plane. Hahas. Signing off now!! Woots!! (:

``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 11:47 PM .



_ Thursday, May 15, 2008 ;
Today schooling wasn't as bad as i thought so. I met some of my year one friends. They said something that make me feel so touched and relieve. "You are part of our group." this was the sentence that brightens up day. Finally I found a sense of belonging in school this year. This was the first time I am really happy and I can tear down the wall in myself. I will try harder to be be in a better help to all.

It was so fun to play BBall today. 4 against 2,Ricky, Wei Siong, Mei Mei and me VS Benjamin and Jia Wei. And guess what?? The four players win. Haha! Nothing to be proud of. If we still lose, it will be such a embarrassment.

After that James, Karen, Mei Mei and I went to the playground to play hopscotch. While playing, it reminds me of my primary school days. I always played with my classmates when I was Pri 2. Hahas. In the end, James got first, I second, Karen third and Mei Mei got last. Hehes. No matter who wins, I really enjoy today's fun activity. After a fun game of hopscotch, Benjamin ask me to help him massage, I went over to help him then went all around to help all. Now my hands gone jelly jelly.

Finally we went home as we were all tired and it was getting late. But the fun did not end here. On the way home, I went around using my rabbit bag to hit Benjamin and Ricky. Both of them fall for my trick and almost went tumbling down. Hahas. Sounds so bad. Jeanette and Benjamin being CRAZY went hitting me with the hands of my baggy. I got to POKE Ricky's, Jia Wei's and Benjamin's arms today! Jeanette and I went BERSERK and started to poke Ricky's arm and we went like "WA! RICKY YOUR ARMS ARE DAMN FIRM! HA! I CAN FEEL YOUR MUSCLES!!"
When i try to get near Jia Wei, he ran away for his arms like some loansharks chasing him. Jean and I went poking like mad women until Jean reaches her block. Hahas. After that they have to continue to suffer from my poking until Shop and Save. I think all of them will get nightmare today. Due to the torture that happen earlier. Hehes.

Today is one of my best times. Ricky is active so is Jia Wei, Benjamin, Karen, James, Jean and me. So fun. I really enjoyed loads of fun. Everytime when I am with them i feel great and can be the CRAZY me. Hahas.

*Thanks to all of you. Thanks for giving me a wonderful time today. I hope that there will be more happy outings, no matter is Bballing, playing or chit-chatting PLEASE remember to call me down OK. THANKS!! Love All of you! (:*

``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 11:38 PM .



_ Wednesday, May 14, 2008 ;
Time for me to return to my blog... Thinking back.. I am wasting my time to things that doesn't belong to me anymore.. but I just can't seems to let go and I am holding on more and more tightly to it..

I've never thought that a given up relationship can bring so much pain to me. I always thought that I am strong enough to face every ups and downs in my life, but he change me and my thinking. Once a bowl has been smashed into pieces it will never return to its original self anymore.. No matter how hard we try to fix or how good our handicraft are, the once smashed bowl will always have flaws on it.. Or even worst, the bow will never be fix...

Memories flow back again and again and I can't control, emotions went bad to worst, my life is now in a mess... A total mess that I can't clear.. I only can let it to be in this mess because the more I clear the mess the huger pain I've got. I can't cry, I can't move on, I can't return to my old self again. Maybe everything shouldn't have happen, shouldn't have started but I am too stubborn to force things go otherwise. Those true and hurtful memories let me got sick of love songs, tired of tears, pulls me down, leaving with a changed Ruyi.

But I don't want to turn back time. I don't want to turn back time as i am afraid that all the memories that belongs to me wont be mine. Without those memories I know that my life will be empty like a blank piece of paper. Just hope time can heal the wounds in my heart, stop my wounds from bleeding again and again.

``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 9:58 PM .