Time for me to return to my blog... Thinking back.. I am wasting my time to things that doesn't belong to me anymore.. but I just can't seems to let go and I am holding on more and more tightly to it..

I've never thought that a given up relationship can bring so much pain to me. I always thought that I am strong enough to face every ups and downs in my life, but he change me and my thinking. Once a bowl has been smashed into pieces it will never return to its original self anymore.. No matter how hard we try to fix or how good our handicraft are, the once smashed bowl will always have flaws on it.. Or even worst, the bow will never be fix...

Memories flow back again and again and I can't control, emotions went bad to worst, my life is now in a mess... A total mess that I can't clear.. I only can let it to be in this mess because the more I clear the mess the huger pain I've got. I can't cry, I can't move on, I can't return to my old self again. Maybe everything shouldn't have happen, shouldn't have started but I am too stubborn to force things go otherwise. Those true and hurtful memories let me got sick of love songs, tired of tears, pulls me down, leaving with a changed Ruyi.

But I don't want to turn back time. I don't want to turn back time as i am afraid that all the memories that belongs to me wont be mine. Without those memories I know that my life will be empty like a blank piece of paper. Just hope time can heal the wounds in my heart, stop my wounds from bleeding again and again.