_ Sunday, July 20, 2008 ;
Wow. It's been like 3 weeks that I did not post anything. It has been a busy month for me. No ending reports and case study to rush. Go to school to study but knows nothing. Just feel so useless. When all my friends are down. I also can't do anything to help. Know nothing about my friends. Such a failure!
I feel that I just can't concentrate in things that I should do and I want to do. I feel so vexed these few days. Can't control my emotions anymore. My health since to deteriorate a lot. Every time feels like vomiting and feel so giddy all the time. Maybe due to pressure that causes all these to happen. A lot of things is bothering me. Trying to divert my attention to other things but it seems that it just can't work. Past memories are so cruel. It pulls me back to the endless pain that I suffered before. No matter how hard I try things just don't go better.
Feelings of being controlled wasn't good. I am a person that needs a lot of freedom and my own space to take a breather. Maybe I just can't take the stress or pressure. I am just not use to it. Just pray that things will go better!
From now onwards, my whole weekend will be burnt. Friday CG changes to Sunday. No more rest day for me on Sunday. My birthday is arriving. But I want to have a peaceful time with all my close friends. Just a dinner or lunch will be good. Maybe I have too much good birthday celebrations in the past. So now, I don't ask for much. Hahas. Its great to have so much friends around me but it may also be something bad. I know that God loves me. He won't put me in a difficult position only if there is a need. God is always kind to us. Maybe now what I am going through is a time that let me brush up my everything. After all these things that will be good things going to happen.
Hoping to go to a place with peacefulness to hide all my sorrows, pains and emptiness. I want to beach! Its full of peace. A place that let me calm myself down, a place that will let me forget everything and a place to see beautiful scenery. Hope I can go soon! Hahas. (:
I feel that I just can't concentrate in things that I should do and I want to do. I feel so vexed these few days. Can't control my emotions anymore. My health since to deteriorate a lot. Every time feels like vomiting and feel so giddy all the time. Maybe due to pressure that causes all these to happen. A lot of things is bothering me. Trying to divert my attention to other things but it seems that it just can't work. Past memories are so cruel. It pulls me back to the endless pain that I suffered before. No matter how hard I try things just don't go better.
Feelings of being controlled wasn't good. I am a person that needs a lot of freedom and my own space to take a breather. Maybe I just can't take the stress or pressure. I am just not use to it. Just pray that things will go better!
From now onwards, my whole weekend will be burnt. Friday CG changes to Sunday. No more rest day for me on Sunday. My birthday is arriving. But I want to have a peaceful time with all my close friends. Just a dinner or lunch will be good. Maybe I have too much good birthday celebrations in the past. So now, I don't ask for much. Hahas. Its great to have so much friends around me but it may also be something bad. I know that God loves me. He won't put me in a difficult position only if there is a need. God is always kind to us. Maybe now what I am going through is a time that let me brush up my everything. After all these things that will be good things going to happen.
Hoping to go to a place with peacefulness to hide all my sorrows, pains and emptiness. I want to beach! Its full of peace. A place that let me calm myself down, a place that will let me forget everything and a place to see beautiful scenery. Hope I can go soon! Hahas. (:
``With Love ; Ruyi *
..:: left at 1:25 AM .
