This will be one of the confusing day in my life. Its time to move on from the past to present. Things just happen suddenly. The thing that I hope and pray have happened. But now I wonder, what will be the ending. Good and happy ending or sad and lost ending. Of course no one will pray for the negative side to happen, it serves the same to me.

I have lost confidence in this thing and I found in hard to believe that it finally happen to me. I am so caught unprepared, so lost. I can't face up this dream, the past still hurts me. What am I suppose to do? I can't wait for the answer to release but at the same time, I can't face the fact if the negative side came true. I even though of running away so I won't know the answer and I don't need to face the aftermath of it. I am such an ostrich, isn't it? People may laugh at me, this big sister is useless, can't face such a small thing but I am really afraid, very afraid. It seems that any solution in my mind cant work it out and fit it well. Its my second time facing this kind of failure in my life. Even if the answer is just right in front of me but I can't stretch my hands up to reach for it or should I say I can't even see it. What will happen to me? Will this thing end just like that? Will it be just a dream? Or will it be a happy ending? Its still a question.

二舅，您再看着我吗？请您帮帮我吧！希望一切不是梦。我还是不要抱着任何希望的好。